Overwhelmed Parent Here... Why Are the "Quick Fixes" Not Working?May 11, 2021
I don't know about you, but lately I have been feeling the pressures of parenthood in this never ending pandemic!
Am I spending "enough" time with each child?
Am I causing my child to have more outbursts?
Are my children going to be behind if they are not completing all their online hours?
Support for families through this pandemic has not been a shining moment for our society. With most of the focus going to frontline (and rightly so), parents (possibly also working as frontline) who are struggling day to day are being forgotten and home life has become difficult in many households. Throughout this pandemic the number of things that have been piled on parents has been insurmountable. We have been expected to jump into a million different roles and expect our children to do the same and thrive. Real talk... yes children are resilient but they are also human first and foremost. Children are dealing with all these new expectations in their own way and we cannot expect it to look the same for each child, just as it will not look the same for each parent.
So what to do we do when our children are not "thriving" the way we expected, having more outbursts than ever before? When it seems like everyone else has it figured out by now and we are still feeling like we are not doing "enough"? Most of us scroll social media to find a "quick fix" for our child's misbehavior, hoping that with minimal effort we can make the misbehavior stop. Again, real talk... there are no successful "quick fixes" for misbehavior without first knowing what is under the misbehavior. Until we accept our children's reality as their own, and validate how they might be feeling about this ever changing world, the misbehavior will continue.
It is an extremely difficult ask to see beyond the outburst and misbehavior. One ask that I as a Parent Coach can honestly say is a daily internal struggle. We are exhausted, overwhelmed and isolated, three unfathomable states for making calm, rational explanations for our children's misbehavior.
Try these in midst of the chaos:
- Disconnect from social media,
- Walk away to take a breath (when safety permits),
- Connect with our children in meaningful ways and,
- Ask as many open questions as possible to gain a better understanding of what is really going on in their world.
I help committed parents of children age 1 to 10 move from questioning their parenting to being the confident parent they are meant to be. I do this through 1:1 coaching sessions and a G.R.E.A.T. Parenting Membership.
If you are looking to gain more understanding about your child's misbehavior, download my Under the Misbehavior webinar and Q and A. FREE for G.R.E.A.T. Parenting Members (Free trial ends July 8th). In this workshop I will use Positive Discipline's Mistaken Goal Chart by Dr. Jane Nelsen and Lynn Lott to help us better understand misbehavior and help you find positive solutions to the misbehavior.
You got this!